recovery blog: slut shamer here? 

octobrebijou:

bywayofrecovery:

I think I am more open minded about casual sex now than I used to be, but I’m still stuck on a few things.

Even with birth control, casual sex (or any sex) can produce a child. Do people give two shits about that possibility? Wouldn’t it be smarter to have sex with someone whom you trust to…

bywayofrecovery:

I think I am more open minded about casual sex now than I used to be, but I’m still stuck on a few things.

Even with birth control, casual sex (or any sex) can produce a child. Do people give two shits about that possibility? Wouldn’t it be smarter to have sex with someone whom you trust to…

I used to have a similar viewpoint but it ended up breaking down like this:

one: One night stand or not, trust or not, what people say when hypothetically considering an unexpected pregnancy, and how they act when it actually happens, are two completely different things. Ultimately it’s on the individual to protect themselves against reproducing if they’re not ready, no matter if their partner is a stranger or their husband/wife. 

two: Casual sex is absolutely not about value. We are animals, biologically we’re programmed to breed so that we can survive. Society has placed rules on sexual conduct (mainly derived from religion and sexism) that really make no sense. Think about it. Why are women (and it’s 99% of the time JUST women) taught to think of their bodies are something to value or not value? Why can’t we be looked at like men, where our sex lives are seen as personal and people focus on our other, actually meaningful traits? Since when does anyone else have the right to value, or devalue, someone for their private sex life? The whole self worth argument comes from the belief that women basically exist to give themselves to men in the purest possible form, which is why having multiple sex partners is seen as depreciating value like driving a new car off the lot. It’s bullshit. And men are never held to the same standard. Hell, we have derivatives of slut-shaming terms by adding “man-” as a prefix, because by default, the terms are meant for women.

So long story short, sex has nothing to do with value. Adding a value system to sex is a tool of sexist oppression and slut shaming. If someone sleeps around a lot, it’s not that they don’t value themselves. In reality, they have a ton of respect for themselves, because they do what they want and will not tolerate someone shaming them for their personal choices. The idea of sex and your body being special is because people have this sick obsession with purity, and mainly women are shaming for not conducting themselves to whatever sexual standard the male community dictates - while at the same time, men can stick it in whoever they want and no one questions their right to do so or talks about them not respecting/valuing themselves.

tl;dr it’s all bullshit. There’s so much more to people than what they do with their dicks/vagoos and society needs to get over it. :P

Love you & love this.